Narrative:

Although this report addresses the TRACON at iad; the lack of SOP understanding; indeed the ignorance of simple terminology amongst the controller force has slipped beyond any ability to excuse it. On this approach; which was a simultaneous ILS to 19C; there are a set of SOP procedures and radio calls; none of which were used by ATC. Some aircraft were never told to contact tower; some where; neither is correct. Tower is to be monitored on simultaneous approaches; and the marker is to be reported. The tower controller did not understand that he was to wait (unless a call is required for spacing/safety) for aircraft to check in with him at the marker. Where was the final monitor? Nothing could be communicated inside 10 miles due to confused aircrew trying to determine whether to stay; contact tower; or monitor tower. The tower controller then transmitted on his own frequency by attempting to contact every plane on final; without regard to their position. Several were there; several checked in upon changeover; and several were still on TRACON. This nonsense must stop. These controllers need to learn their jobs. In the past month; I have had these three things happen: 1. Directed by the dca tower to modify the lda 19 by flying over the west bank of the river. This request was made while on the published instrument approach in the weather which was at minimums for the approach. Upon later conversation; the controller said that I ignored his direction. I informed him that in this situation there were only two possible communications; go around; or cleared to land. I had asked him for either; he gave neither; and repeated his request for me to modify the instrument approach procedure; while flying it in the weather. I continued with my previous clearance. He still does not understand what he did. 2. On approach to 14R at ord; a controller substituted the words 'mandatory area' for the words 'published segment of the approach'. Hey; I couldn't make this stuff up; but they do. 3. On the EAU8 into msp I was re cleared direct to wildd.wildd1; fly the press transition. This STAR has no transition. There is correct terminology to direct you past bitlr to the appropriate fix for the landing runway; and calling it a transition is not it. When I queried the controller about the lack of a published transition; and the fact that I could not comply with his incorrect clearance; he complimented me on my understanding of the far's and went on to say that he had to give the wrong clearances; because other pilot's wouldn't understand what to do. I don't even know where to go with that one. He might be right. This is stupid and dangerous. We cannot have unqualified controllers out there 'free styling'; with procedures and terminology. It is bad enough that some idiot changed the former 'localizer' approach to an 'ILS' approach; glide slope out of service'. If the second half of that clearance ever gets cut out; people may die. If this situation where ATC controllers are ignorant of; or ignore the far procedures and terminology is not addressed; immediately; then the FAA administrator should be fired. The current situation is untenable; and I will most happy to testify to these acts of malfeasance at the hearings which are sure to come.

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Original NASA ASRS Text

Title: Air Carrier Captain voiced concern regarding ATC handling on a number of occasions in different locations.

Narrative: Although this report addresses the TRACON at IAD; the lack of SOP understanding; indeed the ignorance of simple terminology amongst the controller force has slipped beyond any ability to excuse it. On this approach; which was a SIMULTANEOUS ILS to 19C; there are a set of SOP procedures and radio calls; none of which were used by ATC. Some aircraft were never told to contact Tower; some where; neither is correct. Tower is to be monitored on simultaneous approaches; and the marker is to be reported. The Tower Controller did not understand that he was to wait (unless a call is required for spacing/safety) for aircraft to check in with him at the marker. Where was the Final Monitor? Nothing could be communicated inside 10 miles due to confused aircrew trying to determine whether to stay; contact Tower; or monitor Tower. The Tower Controller then transmitted on his own frequency by attempting to contact every plane on final; without regard to their position. Several were there; several checked in upon changeover; and several were still on TRACON. This nonsense must stop. These controllers need to learn their jobs. In the past month; I have had these three things happen: 1. Directed by the DCA Tower to modify the LDA 19 by flying over the west bank of the river. This request was made while ON THE PUBLISHED INSTRUMENT APPROACH IN THE WEATHER which was at minimums for the approach. Upon later conversation; the Controller said that I ignored his direction. I informed him that in this situation there were only two possible communications; go around; or cleared to land. I had asked him for either; he gave neither; and repeated his request for me to modify the instrument approach procedure; while flying it in the weather. I continued with my previous clearance. He still does not understand what he did. 2. On approach to 14R at ORD; a Controller substituted the words 'mandatory area' for the words 'published segment of the approach'. Hey; I couldn't make this stuff up; but they do. 3. On the EAU8 into MSP I was re cleared direct to wildd.wildd1; fly the PRESS transition. This STAR has no transition. There is correct terminology to direct you past BITLR to the appropriate fix for the landing runway; and calling it a transition is not it. When I queried the Controller about the lack of a published transition; and the fact that I could not comply with his incorrect clearance; he complimented me on my understanding of the FAR's and went on to say that he had to give the wrong clearances; because other pilot's wouldn't understand what to do. I don't even know where to go with that one. He might be right. This is stupid and dangerous. We cannot have unqualified controllers out there 'free styling'; with procedures and terminology. It is bad enough that some idiot changed the former 'localizer' approach to an 'ILS' approach; glide slope out of service'. If the second half of that clearance ever gets cut out; people may die. If this situation where ATC controllers are ignorant of; or ignore the FAR procedures and terminology is not addressed; immediately; then the FAA administrator should be fired. The current situation is untenable; and I will most happy to testify to these acts of malfeasance at the hearings which are sure to come.

Data retrieved from NASA's ASRS site as of April 2012 and automatically converted to unabbreviated mixed upper/lowercase text. This report is for informational purposes with no guarantee of accuracy. See NASA's ASRS site for official report.