Narrative:

When I called dispatch to discuss takeoff alternates; dispatch said he had no idea what airports were in our alternate book; and suggested I simply return to field should I have an emergency after takeoff. Dispatcher was not focusing on the kind of field and the services available at the field he was dispatching from -- to the extent his solution for a departure non normal was not a common sense response. His plan was for me to return to a field with no tower; a relatively short field; no ability to turn the aircraft 180 degrees; and reduced emergency services on a part 91 flight plan. This would have worked for a C150; but ridiculous for an airbus. I have no idea why a professional would have come up with this idea; and have no idea of what airports nearby were in our alternate manuals.

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Original NASA ASRS Text

Title: AN AIR CARRIER AIRBUS CAPTAIN REPORTED THAT WHEN HE ATTEMPTED TO NAME A TAKEOFF ALTERNATE THE DISPATCHER WAS UNABLE TO HELP WITH AIRPORT SELECTION AND SUGGESTED JUST RETURNING TO THE DEPARTURE AIRPORT.

Narrative: WHEN I CALLED DISPATCH TO DISCUSS TKOF ALTERNATES; DISPATCH SAID HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT ARPTS WERE IN OUR ALTERNATE BOOK; AND SUGGESTED I SIMPLY RETURN TO FIELD SHOULD I HAVE AN EMER AFTER TKOF. DISPATCHER WAS NOT FOCUSING ON THE KIND OF FIELD AND THE SVCS AVAILABLE AT THE FIELD HE WAS DISPATCHING FROM -- TO THE EXTENT HIS SOLUTION FOR A DEP NON NORMAL WAS NOT A COMMON SENSE RESPONSE. HIS PLAN WAS FOR ME TO RETURN TO A FIELD WITH NO TWR; A RELATIVELY SHORT FIELD; NO ABILITY TO TURN THE ACFT 180 DEGS; AND REDUCED EMER SVCS ON A PART 91 FLT PLAN. THIS WOULD HAVE WORKED FOR A C150; BUT RIDICULOUS FOR AN AIRBUS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY A PROFESSIONAL WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH THIS IDEA; AND HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT ARPTS NEARBY WERE IN OUR ALTERNATE MANUALS.

Data retrieved from NASA's ASRS site as of May 2009 and automatically converted to unabbreviated mixed upper/lowercase text. This report is for informational purposes with no guarantee of accuracy. See NASA's ASRS site for official report.