Personal pain compounded by upheaval in aviation occupation caused reporter to be overwhelmed.

Attributes
ACN	281988
Time
Date	199409
Day	Mon
Local Time Of Day	1201 To 1800
Place
Locale Reference	airport : las
State Reference	NV
Altitude	agl bound lower : 0 agl bound upper : 0
Aircraft 1
Operator	common carrier : air carrier
Make Model Name	Commercial Fixed Wing
Operating Under FAR Part	Part 121
Flight Phase	other
Flight Plan	IFR
Person 1
Affiliation	Other
Function	flight crew : single pilot
Qualification	pilot : flight engineer pilot : atp pilot : cfi
Experience	flight time last 90 days : 0 flight time total : 7528
ASRS Report	281988
Events
Anomaly	other anomaly other
Independent Detector	other other : unspecified
Resolutory Action	none taken : anomaly accepted none taken : unable
Consequence	other
Supplementary
Air Traffic Incident	other

Narrative:

I held in for yrs the pain, shame and guilt of my mom's alcoholism until she finally collapsed dec/xx/93. I also held back for yrs the trauma of the air carrier strike and eventual failure despite our efforts to save her. Along with this the pain of divorce: and the stress of flying 100 plus hours a month at the commuter airline I was working for, and attending school at night where I completed my bs degree. I was scared and ashamed to admit I needed help and with 4 layoffs in 3 yrs I couldn't keep medical benefits, which was depressing. I also felt despondent over pilot group scab list and my ruined career. All this caused me to nearly lose control of my aircraft in dec/xx/93 which I filed a NASA report. I finally burned out and was asked to resign. I was pressured by money when I should have taken leave of absence. I failed to fully recognize the warning signs or do anything until it was too late. Fortunately, I didn't damage anything, hurt anybody, or get a violation. I am seeking help through 'adult children of alcoholics' group, church and friends and family. I'm not flying and don't know if I ever want to again, although I do still love aviation, but maybe I can help in other ways.

Original NASA ASRS Text

Title: PERSONAL PAIN COMPOUNDED BY UPHEAVAL IN AVIATION OCCUPATION CAUSED RPTR TO BE OVERWHELMED.

Narrative: I HELD IN FOR YRS THE PAIN, SHAME AND GUILT OF MY MOM'S ALCOHOLISM UNTIL SHE FINALLY COLLAPSED DEC/XX/93. I ALSO HELD BACK FOR YRS THE TRAUMA OF THE ACR STRIKE AND EVENTUAL FAILURE DESPITE OUR EFFORTS TO SAVE HER. ALONG WITH THIS THE PAIN OF DIVORCE: AND THE STRESS OF FLYING 100 PLUS HRS A MONTH AT THE COMMUTER AIRLINE I WAS WORKING FOR, AND ATTENDING SCHOOL AT NIGHT WHERE I COMPLETED MY BS DEGREE. I WAS SCARED AND ASHAMED TO ADMIT I NEEDED HELP AND WITH 4 LAYOFFS IN 3 YRS I COULDN'T KEEP MEDICAL BENEFITS, WHICH WAS DEPRESSING. I ALSO FELT DESPONDENT OVER PLT GROUP SCAB LIST AND MY RUINED CAREER. ALL THIS CAUSED ME TO NEARLY LOSE CTL OF MY ACFT IN DEC/XX/93 WHICH I FILED A NASA RPT. I FINALLY BURNED OUT AND WAS ASKED TO RESIGN. I WAS PRESSURED BY MONEY WHEN I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN LEAVE OF ABSENCE. I FAILED TO FULLY RECOGNIZE THE WARNING SIGNS OR DO ANYTHING UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE. FORTUNATELY, I DIDN'T DAMAGE ANYTHING, HURT ANYBODY, OR GET A VIOLATION. I AM SEEKING HELP THROUGH 'ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS' GROUP, CHURCH AND FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I'M NOT FLYING AND DON'T KNOW IF I EVER WANT TO AGAIN, ALTHOUGH I DO STILL LOVE AVIATION, BUT MAYBE I CAN HELP IN OTHER WAYS.

Data retrieved from NASA's ASRS site as of July 2007 and automatically converted to unabbreviated mixed upper/lowercase text. This report is for informational purposes with no guarantee of accuracy. See NASA's ASRS site for official report.